Social skills are developed so that people may establish healthy relationships with those around them. In order to do so, one must be able to listen and communicate effectively. Formalized research has proven that individuals with learning disabilities have deficient social skills. For example, individuals with Auditory Processing Disorder have trouble interpreting speech, and consequently communicate ideas which are off topic or inappropriate for the conversation. Language and auditory processing disorders hinder one's ability in social intake, internal process, and social output. Social intake involves understanding another's speech, body language, and cultural behaviours. Normative internal processes interpret what others are communicating, as well as manage one's own emotions and reactions. Social output is the resultant communication based upon the cumulative results of analysis during internal processing. Mastering such skills is essential to one's personal life, academic pursuits, and career successes. Without it, one would likely experience a myriad of problems such as behavioural difficulties, peer rejection, academic failures, and so on.
I chose this article because of its relevancy to everyday life and its applicability to the masses. Although this article's focus was on individuals with learning disabilities, communication barriers exist in varying levels for all of us. The “ah-hah” moment came when I realized why some people are able to become leaders and others be relegated as outcasts. The article's list of “symptoms” can be found within any social group. In any social context, there is often a leader, the followers, and an outcast. The leaders are most often able to communicate effectively and the outcasts not enough so.
While I was reading the article, I thought about one important issue which the article did not address fully – self-worth. The damage which deficiency in social skills can cause is far more dangerous than academic or career failures. Human beings are inherently social, as evidenced by our obsession with hierarchies, regulation, communal living assets. When certain individuals experience difficulties comprehending others or expressing their own ideas, they have effectively been removed from the social context. Removal from the social context is a flagrant violation of their innate instincts, greatly harming their self-esteem. When they try to engage in social activities, their actions may be misconstrued as harmful. It seems unfair for those born with difficulty in social communication, especially in this century. In this dynasty of info-tech, corporate marketing, and mass media, individuals with learning disabilities are thrown into a whirlpool of conflicting ideologies. Unable to quickly and effectively interpret the maelstrom of information, people can often lose faith in themselves and their worth as a person. This can lead to heavy consequences such as withdrawal, depression, or even suicide.
I believe that this issue has a more direct impact on my life than any other issue. Social interactions are necessary components of everyday life. Although some social interactions are prepared, many are impromptu quizzes or tests. The mastery of social skills is ever more important in the social context of high-school. In this childish representation of society, reputation is the calling card of success. Although University Hill Secondary is not your typical high-school, cliques and groups still exist to a certain degree. And then there are the outcasts. I have often wondered what causes them to take the brunt of jokes and criticisms, and it seems that I have found the answer. The inability to communicate effectively creates a rift. In a vicious circle, this rift between people fosters ignorance and misunderstanding, which further labels one as an outcast. A personal challenge for me is speaking with some teachers or administration. I can never be as comfortable as when speaking with friends. I suspect that this is normal, but this may be a sign of needing work in social skills in a specific context.
In my peer tutoring experience this year, I have in some circumstances seen evidence of this deficiency in effective listening and communication. Although most of the students are quite receptive and cooperative, some would become easily frustrated with their own “failures quickly” - one of the characteristics listed in the article. Others will adamantly refuse to be persuaded to do something which in the end is beneficial for them. However, I have to say that the students are quite nice most of the time. When I talk to them, they share many of the hobbies or interests that I have. Their “social-awkwardness” seems unfair, as it is mostly prejudiced on appearance.
Social skills are extremely important to me now and to me in the future. I aspire to become a lawyer or social advocate. As such, I would need to be able to clearly express my ideas in order to represent the people I am defending. I would also need to be aware of social contexts and cultural backgrounds; which I have now found out are equally important to effective communication as eloquent rhetoric. In my peer tutoring tasks, development of my communication and listening skills are ever more important. I now realize that my student's inability to comprehend is just as much my responsibility as it is his/hers. Communication is two-way, and so I must uphold my end of the bargain. I need to think of many more ways to effectively communicate ideas so that my student can understand what I am trying to teach him/her.
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